Signs of Depression in Married Women: Silence, Withdrawal, and Exhaustion | Safe and Sound

In married life, women are often expected to be the ones to keep the family fire, take care of the children, build a home and accompany their husbands in every stage of life. But few people realize that behind the smile, that silent sacrifice can be hidden waves of unnamed emotions. Many women are silently facing depression, especially in a marriage full of pressure and little understanding. Let's find out the signs of depression in women in marriage with Safe and Sound's psychologists in the article below.

Ngo Thi Sang | Master of Educational Psychology – Applied mental health care Safe and Sound

Institute of Medical Technology Applications

1. When a woman becomes silent, don't assume she's "fine"

When a woman is silent, don't rush to assume that she is "fine"

Depression doesn’t always manifest itself in tears, sobbing, or clear cries for help. Many married women still wake up every morning, cook breakfast for their family, go to work, pick up their children, and smile at their significant other; but deep inside, they are falling into an emotional void that cannot be named. According to psychologists, that’s when silence, distance, and exhaustion become the first warning signs of a depression creeping into their souls.

You may notice that your wife is less likely to complain, less likely to share her work stress, less likely to say anything when you come home late or forget an anniversary. She may be quiet, communicate in a perfunctory manner, avoid eye contact, or look into the distance while washing dishes or folding laundry. Don't be too quick to sigh with relief, thinking "everything is better"; it could be that she no longer has the energy to express her pain, her emotional turmoil, or has lost hope that her words will be heard.

This silence is not peace. Psychologists say it can be a form of last resort, when a woman feels too exhausted to connect, too frustrated to speak up, and too alone to seek understanding. In psychology, this state is called emotional numbness – a common symptom of depression, when all emotions become dulled, and what once made them happy, angry, or heartbroken no longer has any weight.

2. Depression in marriage, why are women more susceptible?

Many psychological studies show that women are twice as likely to suffer from depression as men, especially in a disengaged marriage. In an unhealthy relationship, a woman may:

Overwhelmed in voice, no right to express personal opinions
Having to shoulder too many roles: mother, wife, daughter-in-law, worker...
Lack of listening and companionship from husband
Enduring psychological, physical, or emotional abuse

All of these things make women susceptible to prolonged fatigue, loss of connection with themselves and from there develop into depression.

3. Signs of depression in women in marriage

Psychologists say that not everyone with depression shows obvious signs such as crying or despair. In married women, signs of depression are often "disguised" as subtle changes in behavior, emotions and physical appearance:

1. Unusual silence

When a wife begins to share less, avoid communication, and become less responsive, it can be a sign of emotional withdrawal. They may:

Avoid talking about important issues
Refuse to participate in common activities with husband and children
No more expressing personal opinions

This silence is not because she has stopped loving you, but because she feels unheard and no longer motivated to maintain the conversation – a typical symptom of depression.

2. Emotional distance

Woman leads emotional distance from husband

A depressed woman may no longer feel positive emotions in her marriage. She no longer feels happy when hugged, complimented, or around her loved ones. Instead, she is more likely to:

Psychology becomes apathetic, indifferent to everything around
No longer react to events that once made them happy
Avoid intimacy

Detachment is not an intentional negative reaction, but rather a consequence of inner emptiness, a common psychological state in people experiencing depression.

3. Physical and mental exhaustion

Depression doesn’t just attack women’s minds; it also eats away at their bodies every day. They often experience:

Tired even without doing heavy work
Sleep a lot but still feel low on energy
Headache, stomachache, menstrual disorders or insomnia

According to psychologists, their bodies feel like they are “shutting down” while their minds are reeling with unnamed negative emotions. Many people share: “I don’t want to die, but I don’t know what to live for anymore.”

4. Specific symptoms to note

In addition to the three main symptoms of silence, distance and exhaustion, signs of depression in women in marriage also manifest through many other subtle symptoms, symptoms that are sometimes difficult for those involved to recognize. But if you pay close attention, you will see that the once cheerful, devoted and emotional woman is gradually disappearing, leaving behind a tired, cynical and negative version.

Some common symptoms include:

They often feel guilty and blame themselves, even when things aren’t entirely their fault. For example, if their child is sick, they think they’re not taking good care of them; if their spouse is arguing, they think they’re the troublemaker; if you’re upset, they stay quiet and think they did something wrong.
Feeling like a burden to your husband and children: A lingering feeling that makes them withdraw from all interactions and avoid expressing their needs. They may start to refuse invitations to go out, refuse intimacy or even refuse help, because they are always tormented by the thought that "I am annoying", "I am making my husband and children more tired".
Reduced or complete loss of sexual desire, not only due to physical fatigue, but also due to the spirit falling into a "cold" state: where physical connection also becomes unfamiliar. Psychologists say this can increase the distance between husband and wife, if not understood and accompanied.

Decreased libido

They are easily irritated, impatient, or, on the contrary, become insensitive. These feelings are not necessarily due to normal “irritability”, but can be the result of the mind being overloaded, when they no longer have enough strength to restrain or handle any more pressure. A careless word, a crying child, or a small thing can also cause them to explode or completely ignore it.
Loss of interest in things they once enjoyed, such as reading, cooking, gardening, or meeting friends. Old hobbies no longer seem to be enough to get them out of bed or out of a tiring day.
Having persistent negative thoughts, such as “everyone would be better off without me,” “I just make everyone else’s lives worse,” or “I’m worthless.” These thoughts, if left unchecked, can progress to self-harming behavior, which is sadly not uncommon in women with persistent depression.

These are not fleeting or “weak” symptoms, but warning signs that need to be taken seriously. Psychologists say that when these states last for more than two weeks and significantly affect work, relationships, physical health and mental life, it is time for women to seek support from psychological experts.

Timely intervention can help them escape the cycle of despair and regain positive emotions. Depression is completely treatable with psychotherapy, medication (if needed), or other forms of emotional support as long as women are given the opportunity to talk, are believed, and are not judged for the pain they are carrying inside.

If you find yourself needing help from a psychologist or psychiatrist, start by finding a reputable counseling center or service. You can choose to have face-to-face counseling or online counseling, depending on your situation and comfort level. Most importantly, be open to sharing and accepting guidance from a professional.

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